Tag Archives: fear

Panic and fear

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The unknowns of the future are with us no matter what is going on in our lives.

Even if things are rolling along with no issues, there could be a curve in the road ahead.

When things are particularly bad, when the road is blocked in either direction and you’re stuck, the dark seems to be a bit darker. Small tasks are hard. Everything seems like an effort.

I’m finding myself short of breath in public spaces. This is a new thing. Not something I’ve ever had before.

There is a lot of fear inside me about the future. I’m being forced into change that I hadn’t planned. I don’t have any control over it.

Not much can be done but knuckle down and focus on myself.

I’m being told that these feelings will pass. That things will change eventually with the passing of time.

The things I say to other people going through a hard time, like ‘hang in there’, are all coming back to me.

I know they’re right, but I don’t believe it in my current state of mind.

This is life and its constant challenges.

What’s coming up around the next corner?

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

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We can always find reasons not to do something. It’s one of these things that comes to us more naturally than saying yes. A fear of what the commitment will mean takes over us and, even for a split second, we hunt for an excuse.

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

The fear that we feel is usually unfounded. The fear is only inside our minds because we are being asked to go outside of our comfort zone and make a commitment to something.

How many situations end up with you in the following situations? 

  • Exposed as being a criminal or dishonest publicly
  • Embarrassed by something you do or say and have people you love see you go down in flames
  • Naked on live TV

“Err, not many” would be my reply. Not if you’re a decent person with a basic set of morals and no connection to any TV producers who enjoy asking their friends to get naked!

There’s so much to be gained from saying ‘yes’ more often. I struggle with this area myself through a lifetime of being highly cynical and critical of others, but I make an effort now to get more involved in groups and take on new responsibilities.

If we say yes more, the fear starts to go away. We meet new people and good things happen. It becomes clear that the bad things we thought would happen are nothing more than mind games. 

Give it a try this week. Anything that crops up and the call comes out for help or volunteers, override that instant reaction to block it and say yes instead. What happens could actually be great.

Fear of the blank page

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The calendar notifications dings and it’s time to write that post I’ve been putting off. I’ve had it on my mind for a few days but now the blank page is staring me in the face.

I’ve got a vague idea for the post but nothing is coming easily. What else can I do instead? Put the kettle on, check my emails (again) perhaps? Fill up my water bottle (again)… Nope, this time, I’ve gotta get it done.

Then the self-sabotage starts.

Why’s anyone going to want to read this?
It’s sooo much work for sooo little reward.
My writing is terrible compared to (add the name of any writer who’s ever put pen to paper in the history of time).
Writing is hard.
Who did I need to call urgently today?
I can’t get the idea out of my head and onto the page.
It’s making me feel so uncomfortable, I’m just going to put the kettle on…

I finally get back to the desk and things start to take shape. The idea for the post works itself out in my head and then onto the page and I crank out about 150 words..

I do a couple of re-reads, make the odd change and I can see there is still a bit more needed to close the thing off. Isn’t there some washing up to do? (I never wash up). I’ve gotta pay that bill today or else…

And then, with precisely 90 more seconds of focussed effort, the job is done and the weight is lifted…

Until the next time.

I’ve managed to get my thoughts onto the page in my own style and taken another step on the path to making writing a more pleasurable habit.

Words are the glue that holds communication together and the way we use words matters. I’m learning this at a late stage in life but I’m glad it’s finally sinking in.

It also gets easier the more often you do it. I’m writing every day now and a habit has formed. I had a day last week when I missed my daily slot and I didn’t like the way it felt.

I’m stockpiling new ideas for topics and beginning to find inspiration in weird places. I take a lot of notes but the number has increased and the fear of the blank page is getting smaller all the time.

And the bottom line? It’s a marathon, not a sprint, but I’m glad to be in the race.

Get over your fears in 2016

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explosion

It doesn’t matter what it is that you’re afraid of and it doesn’t matter how you do it, but if you can make 2016 the year that you get past your fears, you’ll have a fantastic year.

So, what’s holding you back? Ask yourself this question when you’re facing something tough and listen hard to your answers.  I’m sure when you do this you’ll realise that your answers are nothing much beyond excuses, really and sound quite hollow in the open air.

Keep doing this whenever you feel anxious or are struggling to overcome something you find hard or difficult. You’ll see things much more clearly and start to break through these self-imposed barriers.

Try it and see what it can do for you.

What would you do if weren’t afraid?

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This was a quote I read recently (and forget where from and sadly cannot give the proper credit for – sorry). Lists are useless for a question like this, and the answers to the question are inside us all, but we are, in the majority of cases, too weak or frightened to look in the mirror and answer with the truth. The fear of knowing the truth takes us away from a great number of things, but the one time that we take the truth head-on, roll up our sleeves and start an all-in, testosterone-fuelled, no-holes-barred brawl with it is the time that everything begins to take shape. We feel a form of ‘release’, and we challenge what we knew and what we now know. The release is from the metaphorical anchor that we all have inside us that keeps us in the life to which we have become accustomed, but in the same way that a ship pulls it up to get moving, we need to do the same with ours, too. And right now…
 
I look at the answer as lying within a journey, with a start and an end, and a middle bit that takes us somewhere. Anywhere really. But the point is that it takes us somewhere new. We get to see a whole new world that, right now, we have no idea of what it’s like. Taste it, smell it, feel an atmospheric change when we step into it and open our eyes.
 
So, what can you do? What’s going to be your answer? Stop what you’re doing now for five minutes and think about it. Make some space in your world for just five minutes and really have a think about your plan of attack. It might be the most important thing you ever do.