Tag Archives: change

There is life beyond the scroll

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Attempting to white-knuckle the task of beating the algorithms to stop or slow down your use of social media is doomed to failure.

The facts are clear if you think about it.

These mammoth tech businesses have armies of the brightest minds working against you as their business model.

Their job is to hijack your attention and keep you coming back for more, over and over again. And they do it so well.

The attention on Instagram, for example, and the seemingly non-stop growth of that attention, transcending age, gender, and social barriers, is off the chain.

Willpower alone is not enough. The algorithms are too strong, too smart, too skilled at keeping you fixated. Our psychological weaknesses as humans are being exploited.

To overcome the alogorithms and move on with a full life, cut them out.

Delete the apps from your device to eliminate that instant fix from your phone.

Reclaim that 2 to 5 to 15 to 50 minute block that you’d spend scrolling inside the app, using it for something practical instead.

Challenge yourself to make this change work. Your mental health and your ability to be productive will thank you later.

The reader’s dilemma

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I picked up a book on Sunday that had been on the shelf for a few months. I had started to read it but something else took my attention. I put it to one side.

I couldn’t remember much about the contents. It was a book about writing by a writer so there wasn’t much of a mystery to solve.

I read it for a few minutes on Sunday night. It wasn’t pulling me in. I picked up again last night for another go, but the reason I put it down instantly became clear.

I didn’t like it. I couldn’t get on with it. The way it’s written, the types of examples the author uses (all about himself), even the font size left me feeling empty.

Something I find time to do because I enjoy it wasn’t enjoyable.

The minute this happens, it’s worth stepping away. The book will be removed from the shelves, taken to the charity store. I don’t want it anywhere in the house.

Life’s to short to spend time doing something for fun, like reading, using your precious free time, and not enjoying it.

Put it down, find another book from the pile, and take a different journey.

Reduce the friction

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The less friction there is between thought and action, the better.

Logging in? Picking a different device? Turning on a keyboard? All slows me down when it comes to writing something, for example.

This can apply to most things we want to do that carry the ‘hard’ label, requiring some thought and effort.

The chances of producing something new reduces once the ‘thinking about how to do it’ procrastination process starts.

The fast, simple route is the good one here.

Your environment must support your goals

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Who you see, the tools you use, where you work, the position of your desk in your home, the stuff you experience every day – it all has to support you in the daily journey towards achievement of your goals.

How can you improve your environment along these lines?

Think in terms of people, process, and technology.

Do you need to be around a more supportive crew on a daily basis?

Is your bedtime routine making it hard for you to get up on time, and therefore start the day on time, and in a good frame of mind?

Do you use software tools that help you day-to-day, or are you the kind of person who signs up for everything but uses very little functionality of each app after the initial flurry of activity once the novelty has worn off?

It could be time to move your desk towards the window for more light, or even move to somewhere new.

Are you warm in the winter, and cool in the summer, or do you need to get warmer in the winter months, for example?

Could a new picture in a frame on your desk of someone you care about make a difference to how long you spend sat there, and the quality of work you produce?

Ponder on this topic for a while.

Understanding the impact of this overarching statement can have a big impact over time. That’s our shared goal, right?

Three new books incoming

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Placed an order yesterday for some new insights:

Daniel Kahneman – Thinking, Fast and Slow: I’m aware of economic theory but it’s a long time since I took steps to go a little deeper. This will be my jumping off point on that one.

Scott Galloway – The Algebra of Wealth: Personal finance strategy affects us all but most of us spend hardly any time thinking about what we are doing, let alone taking action.

The First 90 Days – Michael Watkins: I’m starting a new job in a couple of weeks. I like to go into anything with some kind of plan, however rudimentary. Similar books of this kind are on my shelves and this one could add a new angle.

(I don’t do affiliate marketing and don’t want to automatically send anyone to Amazon so this is why there are no links.)

Be promiscuous with your positive emotions

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Tell people what you like about them.

Let people know how you feel about the positive things they do.

People don’t know this about themselves unless we tell them. So tell them. Be open about it.

And it’ll probably come back. Your friends will reciprocate.

The good vibes will spread.

What’s not to like about that?

Get past fear and find time for growth

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Coogee United O30’s v Randwick City, April 2024

Stuff that’s scary, like hitting ‘publish’ on a deep, dark post that comes from the very depths of our souls, fills us with fear. The imposter jumps out on us, screaming that we’ll be ‘found out’, that our stuff is ‘nonsense’, and that nobody’s going to read it no matter how cool we think it is.

We moan about having no time. “If only I had the discipline…” must be said by so many wannabe writers and creatives. Our handheld procrastination device, full of the stuff we don’t need, pinging at us when it needs attention, is always by our side.

It’s no wonder we rarely act on that desire to do that ‘thing’.

I used to read Julien Smith’s blog in the early 00’s when I lived in the US. This particular post caught my attention as I sat at a big desk in a bigger office, bored out of my tiny mind. I printed it out. (The image of the horse jumping from the balcony has always stayed with me.)

I’ve referred back to it, and a few of his other ‘slaps to the face’, when I’ve caught myself navel gazing, feeling stuck. At the core of it is the fact that we all worry too much what other people think, and that the sooner we act on what we believe is right through telling the truth, OUR truth, a new chapter begins.

And this is the point here – whatever your ‘thing’ is, get into action by getting past your fear and start delivering.

What’s the worst thing that could happen? You could actually be good at it, people could like it and it could work out brilliantly.

This isn’t likely to be the case – let’s get real here – but the best had to start somewhere. And you do, too.

My time is tight. A full-on job plus part time study. I run or work out daily and fit golf in whenever the study slows down. I have a stack of unread books that grows weekly.

I wanted to take things out rather than add anything new, but the opportunity to coach a women’s soccer team came up, so I took the plunge and it’s a lot of fun.

I’m also inspired to write again (thanks Dr Taylor!) and deliver with consistency – the piece of the puzzle that, for me, remains elusive. But it’s far from impossible.

Let’s put it to the test.

Be interesting

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You’re sat next to someone on a flight.

They ask good questions, listen to your answers carefully, and you build a great conversation together.

You find that you’ve got some shared interests. You get a good feeling while talking to them.

Has this ever happened to you?

They’re interested in other people. They allow them to talk, rather than feeling the need to share their own life story at the earliest opportunity.

They make you feel heard, understood.

When it’s their turn to speak, they’re open about their own experiences. They have stories to tell and they’re happy to tell them but they don’t drone on and on.

They keep the ball moving. The balance between listening and speaking is just right.

They’re the interesting ones.

It takes patience and practice to develop this skill, but it’s a valuable one.

Make an effort to be interesting and the investment will pay off over time.

The trick to laying those solid foundations for a big future

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Centennial Park, Sydney

The groundwork for a future focussed on achievement of any kind is built on one thing.

Discipline.

It’s about creating daily habits that develop into strengths over time.

The task is usually something that doesn’t come easy. That you have to work hard at.

Mine’s writing. No doubt about that at all.

For others it’s maybe reading. Or lifting weights. It can be anything.

What’s yours?

How to overcome fear and take action

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Fear is an illusion that stops us from pursuing our dreams.

The only way to overcome fear is to take action. Action creates momentum, confidence, and results.

Here are some tips to take action despite fear:

  • Start small. Focus on the next step, not the final outcome.
  • Use positive affirmations. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
  • Seek support. Surround yourself with positive people.
  • Celebrate your progress. Reward yourself for every step.

Remember that fear is normal and natural. It’s a sign that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone, growing as a person.

Don’t let fear stop your progress.

Act today. Watch your dreams come true.

Tackle your problems head-on

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It takes guts to stand up to bad people. The same applies to problems of any kind.

The insecurity we feel when we realise what’s going on, the nerves about what will happen, begin to build. We go through every “what if…?” scenario at 100 mph.

Some people in this spot decide to hide away, playing in the shadows. It gives them a chance to cover their tracks, hoping this is enough to kill the scent.

But it never is.

You’ve gotta own up and face the problem head on. Your weaknesses are obvious to all at this point. Vulnerability here is the path to strength.

Be humble. Admit you’ve made a mistake if that’s the case. Admit you don’t know what to do. Ask for help and listen when the feedback arrives, no matter how tough that might be under the circumstances.

Get the job done. Then go find another one. Use the improvements from this episode to reach new levels.

Onwards, always to better things, with a chunk of learning about yourself in your pocket.

From tired to inspired: revive your energy levels

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I just checked out the caffeine in a pack of Berocca Boost. Wow, it’s wild. That 75mg shot will jack you up for a few hours, no doubt. But how can you imporve your energy levels and not have to resort to the artificial approach?

Sleep

Making sure you get enough is massive. Your body can go for days on end with no food and little water but take away sleep and you’ll stop functioning.

Get to bed at a smart hour, say 10pm, for a week. Keep your devices out of the bedroom so there’s no temptation to check them. Set a challenge to wake up at the same time every day for a week, aiming to make it stick. That’s a great start to forming good sleep habits.

Diet

Caffeine stays in your system for as much as eight hours. That cappuccino after dinner, or the piccolo to get you through the afternoon, makes it impossible for your sleep schedule to work.

Processed foods are a big negative factor, too. The hidden fats and sugars they contain make it harder for your body to digest them, using up additional energy. Hit the fruit and veg hard for a week. Maybe start the day with a smoothie. Your brain and body will feel the benefits instantly.

Screen time

Staring at screens increases stress levels and stops you from interacting with the world. It kills your efficiency stone dead. Can you cut it down?

Less focus on screens improves your sleep for starters, giving your better quality rest. If you can shut screens down for an hour before you get into bed, you’ll also decrease stimulation sources and naturally relax before you hit the sack.

I’m no doctor and this is generic advice. Please consult the pros if this is something you have big problems with. Your energy supplies are limited so do what you can to support yourself each day. A small change or two can go a long way.

Scrolling away productivity: how social media is eating away your day

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Scrolling is a death spiral. Anything you’re working on disappears from your mind. The plot gets lost.

All that replaces the work is someone else’s life or a product you don’t need. Those best bits of the lives of others, served up in that never-ending fire hose of content.

We all get blasted by it. Anyone who says they haven’t – they can deal with it, it’s under control – is not being truthful. It’s like being on a water slide. All that can stop you once you take off is the smash into the pool at the bottom.

The remorse after any amount of time spent scrolling is hard to take. I put Instagram back on my phone about one month ago. Already I can feel its hooks are firmly embedded. I’m in, posting a little and consuming a lot, just they way they like it.

And, boy, do those five minute blocks add up. Between YouTube and Instagram I’m averaging nine hours a week. The waste of that amount of time is tangible. It’s painful to see the facts, whatever level of control I imagine I have.

The challenge is to now do something about it.

Take your own audit of how the scroll affects you. The results might spur you on to some positive changes. If you can go from consuming to producing content, for example, putting those scrolling hours to good use, things could be different.

Where change begins: a starter kit for real life transformation

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How do you build a life from a place where you think nothing will work?

There’s a starting point from which you can measure progress. An attitude shift and some changes to the way we use time are also required. If you stick with it, it’ll change your life. It revolves around the things we do in these three main areas and the time we spend on them:

  • Health and fitness
  • Money and income
  • Participation in society

We all sink time into things that take away from our lives rather than add to them. One of them is the time we spend on our phones or online. Using some of this time to build skills or habits in these areas is how you guarantee that your future will be better than your past.

Confidence grows. You’ll meet people. A way forwards will become clear. Goals will be set. Milestones achieved.

Gains are possible from a standing start. The first step is on you. It’s easy to avoid action, or add plans to a list. They’ll keep staring back at you but there won’t be any change. Action makes change happen. It’s gotta come from you.

It all begins with a simple plan. Small commitments lead to bigger commitments. Before you know it, you’ll have formed habits. People will notice your positivity. The dark clouds that were following you around will disappear.

But you’ve got to take that first step. Can you do it? 

If you need a hand, let me know.

Let go and grow

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The middle is a horrible place to be and I’m in it. It’s packed with the majority and the mediocre. It’s a safe place but it’s only a place where things die. 

The thoughts of people who live in this place are destructive.

The stuff about fitting in with everyone else, not standing out. Nonsense. 

Those who are more concerned about pleasing other people than pleasing themselves. Living in fear of the consequences of other people not liking them. Enough already.

The ones who let people get under their skin, never stand up for themselves and complain to everyone who’ll listen how bad they’ve been treated feel good here.

This isn’t a place I want to be.

Cutting ties with this place is my next step. The emotional drain of those who spend their lives in this place is bearing down on me and affecting my thinking, my progress.

Thoughts are at the root of everything we do so I know what I have to do next. There’s a sense of relief even writing these words, but the hard part comes next – acting on it.

Let’s see where that leads.

Practical Steps To Bounce Back From Lockdown

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We can’t avoid the problems that this COVID-19 situiation is causing for us all around the world and the pain of the families of those who have died or are suffering at this moment can’t be understated.

Taking a few practical steps to stay active, physically and mentally, right now is a good place to start if you’re feeling significant stress or have lost your source of income, for example.

But there are also some specific things that you can do in this period to come out on the other side of it in a strong position, especially when it comes to your business or your own personal brand online.

Show up

Do everything you can to help those around you in your online community in whatever form that takes. Zoom calls, Facebook messages, phone calls, whatever. As much action spent on this in the coming weeks will be remembered by those who needed a pick-me-up or a happy face on the other end of the line.

Posting helpful tips and advice to your community also makes a lot of sense. Demonstrate your expertise and the depth of your skills and experience as much as you can.

Work on your profiles.

Take some time to audit every profile you have online today. Does it accurately reflect who you are and what you do? If it’s LinkedIn, are your contact details correct? Do you need an updated profile pic? Go through every one you have and make sure they’re all tip top.

Self improvement

It’s a great time to do some learning. Courses from top universities around the world are free on sites like Coursera so take the first step and sign up for something that can take your skills to a new level. And if you are looking to make a career change or have hit a roadblock in your career, this is the time to road test a few new subjects.

We will all come out of this process in a different way, but be sure to do all that you can to move yourself forwards during this time and keep a positive frame of mind. Let’s hope it’s resolved soon enough!

Learnings from the last couple of years

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A long time has gone by since I last wrote here, and a few things in life have changed, so here we are…

We are living in Australia as permanent residents and we are striving to build a solid foundation for ourselves. My business is growing and there are now three of us in the team, and as I continue to drive this business growth I’ve had a few things in the back of my mind, helping with the steering.

I’ll share them below in no particular order. Some are attributed to a couple the people that I read and follow for guidance and inspiration, but not all:

  1. The more genuine your interest in other people, the more people trust you.
  2. The better you are at listening, the more people want to spend time with you.
  3. Be precise in what you say (Jordan Peterson).
  4. Be very careful what you wish for as it will come to you in time.
  5. Remember people’s names if you can and use them.
  6. Let others save face. Don’t drop them off the cliff unless you have no choice.
  7. Be somebody by doing something.
  8. Become an expert and work harder at this than anything else in your life.
  9. Our minds control everything we do.
  10. Our attitudes will always define our results and outcomes in life.
  11. Do things that are hard, often.
  12. Save money and build a stack before making investments.
  13. Think like the seasons (from Jim Rohn) – be ready for them, plant seeds and work hard to grow them.
  14. Stay cool and shut up.
  15. Struggle teaches us who we really are. Accept the struggle that is life.
  16. Improve what you’re not happy with. Obsess on the things you have to improve.
  17. The easy option = bad results.
  18. Honesty is the way to progress.
  19. Get people on payroll doing things they are great at and that you can’t do.
  20. Negativity will bring you down in the end. It repels all things.
  21. Build self confidence through small daily actions done well to then rise above your circumstances and achieve more.
  22. If you think you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re likely to be the opposite.
  23. Massive action taken towards a goal gets results.
  24. Patience, passivity and caution are killers for anyone entrepreneurial.
  25. Find your why. It will drive you through bad times and keep you focused.
  26. Know the way broadly and achieve in many things (Musashi).

 

Stop procrastinating and get things done

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shut-up-and-get-on-with-it

Get on with doing the things that really matter in your life. None of us know how long we have left and wishing you had a great life full of interesting friends and all the things you ever wanted won’t come by sitting on the sofa.

  • Ideas are everywhere but you’ve got to do the work to make them into something that matters. Execute on those ideas and you’ll see good things happen in time.
  • What we focus on most becomes our idea of reality – use this power to get things done through focussing hard every day on what you want.
  • What time of the day do you feel most energised and do your best work? If it’s 6am to midday, set your working day around this slot and deliver the goods.
  • Do everything you can to stay positive. Don’t look back too long on past failures. Look forward and focus on your strengths.
  • Don’t worry about what people think. My first business was a dating agency and everyone I knew told me I was I mad for launching it but I gained more from creating and running this business than any other in my life to date. If you believe it’s the right thing to do and worth the risk, get on with it.
  • If you’re feeling some fear and that’s what’s stopping you, work out exactly what it is and try and understand what you’re afraid of. What are your true intentions? How much do you want it? In most cases, your fears won’t amount to much and it’s time to get to work.

 

Focus on the good stuff

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The process of making change is one that can add levels of frustration, anxiety and straight-up fear to lives that are already highly stressed and this isn’t always a good thing. Illness can follow very quickly behind if the change isn’t properly managed, whatever it’s context, so avoiding this has to be a top priority.

Our move to Sydney is still in progress as the container carrying our belongings is not yet with us and, so far, we have thankfully had few problems. But Katherine did get sick after only a couple of days in the country and this was very likely due to the scale of the change we had undertaken and the unsettled nature of what was ahead of us over the next few weeks of looking for accommodation, settling into a job and a new city, etc.

The frustration around the change I am going through at the moment is about the pace of it. Life in Australia does go a whole lot slower than it does in the UK and this can be difficult when you have little patience and are ready to start something new. A phone call or email not being returned seems to increase the overall level of tension and the ability to stay patient pays huge dividends.

I try to solve these little problems by thinking of all the things that have worked out well over the last few weeks as we have moved our lives and there are lots of them. It’s always beneficial, to me, anyhow, to keep a focus on the good stuff and the positives that are around me instead of the negatives and this does seem to do the trick. The negatives come easy and are always there without looking too hard, but make an effort to see past them and the dark clouds will start to lift a little.

Growth through change

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Australia_Day

It’s been a few weeks since I have written anything here because it’s been a time of big change. I’m now writing this from Sydney, Australia after moving here one week ago and the lead up to this change has been very hectic. House rented, belongings packed, plane tickets bought and accommodation secured does make it all sound very simple but I can assure you it isn’t!

Anyway, this time of change is also a big opportunity for growth in many ways. A new country – well, I was here 20 years ago and it has changed a lot since then – that is so far from the culture, weather and lifestyle that we had when in the UK will take some getting used to but that is part of its attraction.

I’m looking at getting back into employment so doing lots of research and adapting my mindset to being part of team again, even leading one if the opportunity presents itself. I’ve also got some time to think about doing some fresh learning in a new area and I haven’t drawn any conclusions from this yet.

Basically, every option is still open and this time of change is going to give some amazing opportunities for growth that will be fabulous as time goes by. There’s a lot to be very grateful for.

As a sidenote – current reading:
Chaos Monkeys – inside the Silicon Valley money machine, Antonio Garcia Martinez
The Inner Game of Golf – W. Timothy Gallwey
Homicide, David Simon

Race schedule for running:
Bay Run 7km this Sunday
City2Surf (CBD to Bondi Beach) on 14 August
Western Sydney half marathon on 1 October