Tag Archives: change

Slow down the racing mind

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I’ve noticed in the last few days my brain is racing between a huge range of thoughts.

I haven’t done much differently in terms of daily routines. Not drinking more coffee than normal, and drinking less alcohol than I have in recent times.

The ability to focus on achieving one task without three others popping into my head has escaped me.

I’m taking note of the things that pop up in a notebook. It’s all mundane, normal stuff. Nothing groundbreaking.

Maybe it’s a sign that I have a lot of things to do in life in general (this is a long list), or maybe my brain has started to fire in different ways.

It could be the start of some new pathways, too. There could be a shiny thought among the mundane ones somewhere on this journey.

Keeping myself in listening mode right now is important. There will be a house move in the near future, and some travel towards the end of the year. A change in seasons is upon us as the sun comes out and the temparature rises.

Time to tune in and listen to what’s going on in my brain.

There has been a lot of upheaval in the last few weeks. This could be my brain’s way of resetting.

Focus on what you can control

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Choose to focus on what you can control.

This helps me to move on in life, to achieve things in spite of whatever is going on around me.

Being sucked into the drama of others does nothing to help us.

Distraction and anger. The pain of injustice. All the bad things that take us off our own path.

Put the focus on your own energy. How you spend your time. What you eat. What you do in your quiet time.

Tune out of the unnecessary stuff, tune into yourself.

Make a plan for success

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It’s easy to whinge and moan about not having enough.

Money, time, friends, skills. These things don’t turn up by accident.

A plan will get you on the path to making good things happen.

They are never set in stone. They can change as life takes you in different directions. Reviewing plans is a part of the process of staying on the right track.

But you’ve gotta have one. Avoid it and the weeds will overtake the flowers in your metaphorical garden.

Your direction and purpose will be unclear.

Spend a few minutes working out what you’re going to do today and write it down. This is where it starts.

Routines for the win

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You know what you should be doing. But knowing and doing are two different things. Good routines bridge that gap.

Look around. You already have tools for success.

Maybe it’s books on your shelf. A notebook in your drawer. Exercise gear in storage.

Stop waiting for perfect conditions.

Pick three things that matter most to you. Make them as automatic as brushing your teeth. No thinking required. No mood checks. Just do them.

Set up spaces that make success easy.

A reading corner. A writing desk. A workout area.

When the space is ready, you’re more likely to show up.

Make it non-negotiable. Stop negotiating with yourself every day. Decide once, then follow through.

Treat your important routines like appointments you can’t break.

Now take action – pick one routine. Set up the space. Do it tomorrow morning. No excuses.

Small steps create big changes.

Panic and fear

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The unknowns of the future are with us no matter what is going on in our lives.

Even if things are rolling along with no issues, there could be a curve in the road ahead.

When things are particularly bad, when the road is blocked in either direction and you’re stuck, the dark seems to be a bit darker. Small tasks are hard. Everything seems like an effort.

I’m finding myself short of breath in public spaces. This is a new thing. Not something I’ve ever had before.

There is a lot of fear inside me about the future. I’m being forced into change that I hadn’t planned. I don’t have any control over it.

Not much can be done but knuckle down and focus on myself.

I’m being told that these feelings will pass. That things will change eventually with the passing of time.

The things I say to other people going through a hard time, like ‘hang in there’, are all coming back to me.

I know they’re right, but I don’t believe it in my current state of mind.

This is life and its constant challenges.

What’s coming up around the next corner?

The spin cycle

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William Bridges talks about transitions. I was given his book by a mentor 25 years ago. At the time, I was fumbling my way out of university and into a career, constantly complianing at how long it was taking to pan out.

The book was ‘The Way of Transition’. I have kept it close ever since. It contains clarity at times of stress, confusion or change.

When I first read the book, I remember telling friends I felt like I was in a washing machine – soak, suds and then spin. And the spin cycle was going on for a long, long time.

Sleep wasn’t good. My head was playing tricks on me. The basics of life were out of sync.

I learned that this is the neutral zone. The ‘waste land’ Bridges talks of where there is no life, no growth. Just vast, empty space.

It’s the place we go through when life happens and change is forced upon us.

It’s a harsh landscape. There are no signposts or pathways. A bit of gravel here and there if you’re lucky.

Not much is clear in any direction, and nothing you can do will change this.

All you can do is wait. Things will eventually offer themselves up. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, you’ll find your way back to Kansas, but it’s not the same Kansas you left.

Quote from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

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“So the thing to do when working on a motorcycle, as is in any other task, is to cultivate the peace of mind which does not separate one’s self from one’s surroundings. When that is done successfully, then everything else follows naturally. Peace of mind produces right values, right values produce right thoughts. Right thoughts produce right actions and right actions produce work which will be a material reflection for others to see of the serenity at the centre of it all.”

Robert M. Pirsig

How do you view yourself?

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Self talk runs constantly in our heads. That endless internal chatter. The harsh commentary that weighs heavy on our conscience.

Understanding our values helps us feel good instead of wretched. We must own who we are and attach positive feelings to it.

This sounds simple but proves difficult in practice. Fear creeps in… Am I getting too big for my boots? Is it ok to be kind to myself?

This fear blinds us to what matters most.

Being kind to ourselves is where character development begins. It’s not optional, it’s essential.

From there, we must believe it and live it.

CIO.com article on cybersecurity careers for non-technical people

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https://www.cio.com/article/4051515/breaking-into-cybersecurity-without-a-technical-degree-a-practical-guide.html

I was kindly offered the chance to write this article and it’s been published this week.

It gives a solid summary of my own experiences, good and bad.

If you’re in the market for a new career and cyber has caught your eye, read on.

And if you’re not a coder, even better.

Learnings from the last few days

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There is so much to think about.

Sadness at the stage of life I’m now at. The future I’m now facing.

Contrast that with a view of opportunity, clarity. A blank page.

Words to be written.

Answers that I don’t have to questions I haven’t even considered yet.

Come down to earth, away from the torment in my head. Take each day one at a time.

Stand up and face the new reality.

Don’t shy away, curl into a ball.

Stand up. Feel the strength inside me.

Those who are against me will fuel me to be better.

Stay curious. Seek out the new.

The past has gone, however sad that feels sometimes.

Move forwards.








Red Hot Chilli Peppers

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Listened to an interview with the band and Howard Stern last night.

These guys are workers. The play their music hard, day after day. They hit the rehearsal room and work.

The things we see – the shows and the energy – are the peak of their powers. Day to day, these guys are trying new things. Making mistakes, ploughing through new stuff and finding the gold.

Flea said that when they go on stage for any show, they go at it as if there’s an axe murderer waiting for them the minute the show is over who’s going to kill them all.

They burn the boats. They crucify on stage, killing it. The crowd receives the sacrifice of their energy.

Anything you want to do well could benefit from the same approach.

Don’t complain that things aren’t working out for you unless you attack them in the same way.

Computerworld interview – my career journey

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My career journey has been an interesting one.

My mate Matt has got the best out of me here and dug a bit deeper than the usual stuff these videos contain.

Lots of good stuff in here if you’re on the path to a cyber career, or really any kind of new career and find yourself in transition.

One thing

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Find one thing to do today that might improve your life, and then go do it.

I’ve been mulling over a lot of stuff. The lists are overwhelming.

What one thing could I do today to make my life better? This is the question that I need to ask.

And it’s then all about the action. The motion, mentally or physically, of doing something about the answer.

Small is ok. We have to start somewhere.

Then do it everyday.

The journey to a better life starts on a road of consistent improvement.

Sadness and differences

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I had some terrible news yesterday. A large part of my life is gone.

Basic life fundamentals will now change. There will be anger, fighting, accusations, and more. I’ve worked on myself to keep my life on track and live to higher standards but it hasn’t worked out.

I’m devastated. Where once there was love, care and respect, there’s now rejection and distrust. Hurtful words are being thrown around.

Some people are built to last. They are mentally strong and resilient in the face of difficult times. They create plans and act on them.

They still have high levels of sensitivity. Anxiety plagues them but they do their best. Their life has meaning.

Others come from another place. They lack purpose and the desire to dig deep. Their ego overtakes their soul. They won’t do what it takes to change and instead run for the hills.

They’re desparate to keep up appearances. They look for the safe, the shallow. They forget the things that matter. There’s always someone else to blame.

I know where I’m at on this line from A to B. I can live with that in the face of what’s ahead for me.

As for the others? That’s no longer on my plate and that makes me sad.

The power of preparation

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Think of preparation as your personal success code. When you’re prepared, fear dissolves because there are no surprises. It’s like having a roadmap for a road trip. You know exactly where you’re going.

Here’s what happens. Preparation builds confidence, and confidence always beats fear. Consider a job interview. Research the company and practice your answers and walk in calm and collected. The unprepared candidate? They’re sweating bullets.

Doubt keeps us from discovering our true potential. It whispers ‘what if you fail?’ But when you’re prepared, that voice gets quieter. You’ve done the work, so you know you can handle whatever comes.

Be methodical about your process. Create checklists, run through scenarios, expect challenges. This isn’t overthinking. It’s strategic preparation that transforms anxiety into assurance.

Always be prepared. It’s your fastest path from fear to confidence.

Conferences get a ‘yes’

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Showing up at a well-put-together conference and participating with a plan can be one of the best investments you can make in yourself.

You meet the right kind of people.

You learn something new.

You could make friends with like-minded people, who share the same interests as you.

I went to one this week with a plan to push the boundaries of introversion a little.

I thought about how I was going to approach the day and it worked out well.

I started a few conversations I would have ordinarily shied away from.

I stayed upbeat, enthusiastic, and open to anyone who wanted a chat.

I slowed down. Rather than tearing through the expo, I wandered around.

I saw more. I took it all in.

I’ve never been a conference fan. This experience, plus my attitude towards it, may have changed that.

Prepare for war in times of peace

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No idea who said this but it always hits hard.

In peaceful times, we must get ready for hard times ahead.

Just like you pack an umbrella before it rains, it always pays to be prepared.

Make friends, work hard to keep them, save some money, and be a good person.

Don’t ever wait for trouble to show up. Get ready while things feel good.

The politics is a sideshow

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So Trump and the republicans regain power.

Lots to ponder – and not all of it upbeat.

In the face of such a result for the world, it’s important to do what YOU need to do.

How can you help your community? Support those in your life who may be struggling, before or after the election.

What happened yesterday doesn’t have to change your ways. You have not changed fundamentally as a person because of this result.

You still have to do your thing, whatever that is.

Trump and his goons will lick their lips and make life a bit more tricky for those who oppose them.

But it’s worth remembering that the effect this will have on most of us right now is only a feeling.

Take action based on that feeling. Use it as a force for good.

If ever there was a time to prepare your own plans for the next few years, this is it.

Reset, set goals, and take action.

The difference between average and overachievement

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Garnett at the peak of his powers, around 2008.

A quote from Kevin Garnett, ex-Celtics basketball leader, stood out in the Netflix show ‘Starting 5’:

“Stay humble, stay confident, stay on your craft.”

The humility keeps us grounded. We always move faster with our feet on the floor.

Confidence is the fuel our ambition needs to keep pushing forwards, no matter what we face.

I think the work on your craft, whatever that craft is, with the other two sprinkled into the mix, can be the difference between average and overachievement.

Changing the way we talk to ourselves

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Physical self harm, at its most graphic and shocking, involves cutting the skin. Biting fingernails and the skin on the fingers until they bleed or deliver constant pain is a lot more subtle, but it’s the same thing. I do this latter version all the time.

(I wasn’t aware that it’s also a version of self harm, and came from the same ‘family’ of bad stuff we do to ourselves, until a few years back when I talked to a therapist about it. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember, all the way back to childhood.)

Mental self harm could be the way we talk to ourselves in light of whatever choices we make. It could be based on the way we spend our time, or the judgments we make about our behaviour in any circumstances.

Both types can benefit from treatment. Maybe the mental version leads to the physical version. (Of this, I’m not certain, but I suspect there is a strong link.)

They’re definitely both worth working on to remove them from your life.

I see the link between thoughts and actions. Everything starts with our thoughts – the good and the bad. Making an effort to use what we say to ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, as a force for good can be transformational.

Some simple daily reminders of this – triggers for changing the response to something bad, for example – are something I’ve been working on. They make a huge difference.

The plasticity of our brains – neuroplasticity – means that we can change the way we think, but it goes on the ‘too hard’ pile most of the time.

I used to see my brain as a hard drive that worked one way, and was impossible to alter. But this isn’t the case.

The effort to make these changes is never wasted. The consequences of a life spent suffering from self-inflicted pain are not what I want for the rest of my life.