Negotiation – it’s an art, not a science

We are all negotiators. Some of us are more adept at it than others and some of us have a lot more practice and experience of it than others. Some of us are classified as professional negotiators based on the fact that we get paid for doing it and some of us will never be paid to negotiate but do it all the time. It’s a critical skill and one where a little bit of practical knowledge and preparation can go a long way to helping you get better results, whether it’s in a salary negotiation with your boss or in a purchase of something as valuable as a house or a car, but how often do we take the time to prepare for a negotiation or put a strategy together in advance? No matter how big or small the scenario, it can make a huge difference if you know what is going on within the overall negotiation.

I bought a used car from a dealership a few years ago and got some advice in advance from friends who are professional negotiators on how to get the best deal possible. The salespeople at car dealerships are spending their whole lives doing deals so I knew I was going to need some guidance in order to come away with the car I wanted at the right price (and definitely not have that horrible experience of shaking hands on a deal and feeling that I’d been fleeced). The results were simply brilliant and the understanding I had of what was going on as the negotiation was taking place was invaluable. It was as if I was in the head of the salesman as he was bashing away on his calculator and running off to speak to his manager!

Here are the three most important things I have learned:

Prepare to win – don’t prepare and you will be relying on luck

Go into a negotiation with a positive mindset having prepared as thoroughly as you can and make sure you have all the information you need to get the deal you want. Find out as much as you can about the person you are negotiating with and their position in this deal. Are they the person who can say yes or no, or do they have to ask for permission from someone else to make a decision? On a salary negotiation, this can sometimes be an important factor – the person you are talking to may have to make a case to someone else for your raise to be agreed, so you may have to change your approach if they are not the boss holding the purse strings.

Lose the emotion – most negotiations are not life or death deals.

You must be prepared to walk away if you don’t get the deal you want. This can be really hard if you’ve made an emotional bond with whatever it is you are negotiating over, such as a new house or a piece of jewellery, so do your level best to avoid it. Walking away is a strategic move and can be the best thing you ever do in a negotiation as it can force the other party into action, but if you then have a change of heart and go back to the table, don’t expect the same deal to be available! There will always be another deal to be done and another (enter purchase here) to buy when the time, or, more crucially, the deal, is right.

Body language and voice tone – it’s a critical thing and can make or break a deal without a word being said.

There is a ton of information out there on using body language and in my job as a recruiter I have to be aware of what different signals mean. If your emotions are under control, this will also help you to control your body language and avoid giving off signals that you don’t want the other side in a negotiation to see and act upon. You can also use body language and shock tactics, such as acting really unusually or out-of-character, to mislead people and this can be very powerful in negotiation. Showing huge amounts of anger and frustration in order to force a weaker party to give way on a price when the numbers in play are not that far apart is quite common, and the opposite can also apply. Hand movements, eye twitches and all types of ‘tells’ as used in poker are also worth paying attention to. If it gives you an edge, it will be worth using.

Ian Mountford is a Strategy Coach providing motivation and guidance to entrepreneurs, wannabe or fully-fledged. He draws from his own experience of building businesses from the ground up and spending many years helping clients to consistently achieve their goals and aspirations. Ian works with clients face-to-face and internationally.