Category Archives: leadership

Be nice to people

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Fresh muffins

Be nice to people, whoever they are and whatever they do.

Do it genuinely.

There is zero to gain from thinking, speaking, or saying bad stuff to, or about, other people.

We all have our own stuff to deal with that makes us imperfect, so until we are perfect (and we know that’s never happening) we have no right to pick holes in others.

Even if it only shows in a subtle way, or in our thoughts, cut it out.

How people react to us is up to them. They day they’ve had, or are having, is unknown to us. Don’t take any of it personally.

Self belief: overcoming mental obstacles by making choices

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One day we see the world as rosy, the next it can be nothing but problems.

We can write ourselves off, with our brains giving us no chance to succeed.

It takes self belief. The ability to decide and act is all on us.

The ability to override our brains is also on us.

It’s a choice.

All we are is the product of our choices.

“If you chase two rabbits…”

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“… you will not catch either one.”

This is a Russian proverb from the front cover of ‘The One Thing’ by Keller and Papasan.

Read it, think about it, read it again, and use it. There’s great power inside its pages.

Pick a thing and do it

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To-do lists are killers. We pile up task after task, creating this list that never ends.

Ever created a list with just a couple of things on it, like a shopping list of stuff you pick up from the store? The satisfaction when you tick everything off is a dopamine hit.

When we make a massive list, never getting to the end of it, we never get that hit. The nervousness builds knowing we have a pile of stuff that’s growing instead of reducing.

I try and get three things done a day. I get the biggest thing done first, and then the next biggest, and so on. If I clear the three things, I’ve achieved something small but normally meaningful to me based on what I have on my plate.

I have a long to-do list, but I see it more as a stockpile of possibles for my three task list that I attack every day. This way, the stress is reduced. I know I’m ok if those three things are done. Tomorrow is another day to attack the rest.

The third goal

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Cruyff speaks, we listen.

The third goal yesterday was a stand out moment for our football team.

I’ve been banging on about putting passes together, keeping the ball. The clock was ticking. It looked like we would miss out on the points again. The final substitutions had been made.

We got the break from a 50/50 challenge in the middle of the pitch and the ball suddenly started moving from back to front, one player to another to another, then finally at our striker’s feet.

She swings a big right foot at it and the net bulges. It was never missing.

I was pleased and proud of what just happened because the simplicity of the move made it so effective.

There was nothing fancy. The ball just went from player to player in maybe five passes max, and the finish was excellent, but it all came from passes.

The whole game is about making passes – executing on the most basic of skills. The team that does it the most wins most of the time.

The work will carry on. The weeks we play badly will be when we don’t execute on our plans and the frustration mounts as mistakes take over.

But when that plan comes together and the ball hits the back of the net at the end of a move as sweet as the one we delivered yesterday, there will be no frustration. We’ll be winning.

The study of top class coaches

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Jurgen Klopp

Jurgen Klopp, Jose Mourinho, Sir Clive Woodward, Carlo Ancelotti, Sir Steve Hansen, Dave Alfred, Phil Jackson. These are the best of the best.

And the list goes on with Pep Guardiola, Xabi Alonso, Sir Alex Ferguson.

Who’s your favourite?

The examples of top coaches across the world in all sports are living, breathing textbooks.

Their life histories show similar traits. Many were ex-players. Some were winners but some didn’t get far at all.

Their former players show them respect and admiration for the things they achieved together in almost all cases.

Taking time to study their history gives us blueprints we can use for our own lives.

They always had a plan.

They had goals for their teams. They wanted the titles, trophies, domination.

They deliberated on every detail, leaving nothing to chance.

They rarely took chances, but sometimes situations in games forced their hand.

And when they did, their players responded. The players knew their job within the system they were playing in and they succeeded.

These sources of learning are invaluable.

Sports isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but the lessons are plentiful and applicable to most aspects of everyday life.

Picking up a biography of a top coach or watching interviews with them on YouTube gives huge insights we can all learn from.

Three new books incoming

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Placed an order yesterday for some new insights:

Daniel Kahneman – Thinking, Fast and Slow: I’m aware of economic theory but it’s a long time since I took steps to go a little deeper. This will be my jumping off point on that one.

Scott Galloway – The Algebra of Wealth: Personal finance strategy affects us all but most of us spend hardly any time thinking about what we are doing, let alone taking action.

The First 90 Days – Michael Watkins: I’m starting a new job in a couple of weeks. I like to go into anything with some kind of plan, however rudimentary. Similar books of this kind are on my shelves and this one could add a new angle.

(I don’t do affiliate marketing and don’t want to automatically send anyone to Amazon so this is why there are no links.)

Chop wood, carry water.

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Nice quote from Phil Jackson’s book, ‘Eleven Rings’ (beginning of chapter 19):

“Forget mistakes, forget failures, forget everything, except what you’re going to do now and do it.

Today is your lucky day.”

The mess our brains can make of getting through each day is real.

Competing interests, pressure from all sides, the desire to be perfect, all that nonsense.

If you can get into the ‘chop wood, carry water’ mindset, the noise in our brains quietens.

Find the focus in the next task you want to do and go do it. Then the next, over and over.

Sports books and metaphors from sport, or Buddhist philosophies for quieting a noisy mind, don’t sit well with everyone, but they can help you put the pieces together that work for you.

It’s about what you need to get through the day.

How bad was LBJ?

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The man himself: LBJ.

Reading book two of the Robert Caro series on Lyndon Baines Johnson at the moment. These are four epic pieces of non fiction, researched over many years, rightly winning all the plaudits.

I started with little knowledge of the guy other than the fact that he made it to the White House; details of his upbringing were unknown. The way he made it into politics was also unclear.

The thing that’s standing out to me as I near the end of book two – Means of Ascent – is how low this guy was prepared to go to make his political dreams come true.

I won’t spoil the plot. The usual antics of the power hungry are clear throughout, but there’s a deeper urgency to ‘make it’ on his part. A true desperation. The pages reek of it.

His wife, ‘Lady Bird’ Johnson, survived him by a number of years, hopefully to enjoy a life that would never have been possible with him still alive, sucking up all of the glory.

The lies, endlessly cultivating a false impression, wrapped up and sold to hapless voters in all parts, are a theme all of their own.

And the voters bought it. His supporters got what they wanted and their man got the top job he craved, no matter what it took to get there.

There are so many lessons in this story. I’ll let on more when I work through the series.

Don’t be mean

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Sydney Harbour

Being on the end of someone teeing off via instant messaging is not pleasant.

It’s not hard to be nice to people. Saying cruel, nasty or mean things in comms channels is a dumb move.

It’s the bigger person who can control their emotions and step back, think, before firing off another message.

The context to any situation doesn’t always come through. There could be mitigating factors, bad things happening that either side is unaware of.

This is no excuse to say bad things, or act like the schoolyard bully.

Keep doing it and that bad karma piles up.

Keep an account of your ‘human capital’. Think of it like a cash account at the bank.

Act like a dick, down goes the balance. Be nice to someone, treat people well (especially your colleagues at the office), and the balance increases.

Start each day as if the balance is nil and your main goal in life is to build it up.

This type of keyboard warrior will always be around. Find a way to make the effects of their nastiness wash over you. Their angst and rage is rarely your fault.

Be interesting

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You’re sat next to someone on a flight.

They ask good questions, listen to your answers carefully, and you build a great conversation together.

You find that you’ve got some shared interests. You get a good feeling while talking to them.

Has this ever happened to you?

They’re interested in other people. They allow them to talk, rather than feeling the need to share their own life story at the earliest opportunity.

They make you feel heard, understood.

When it’s their turn to speak, they’re open about their own experiences. They have stories to tell and they’re happy to tell them but they don’t drone on and on.

They keep the ball moving. The balance between listening and speaking is just right.

They’re the interesting ones.

It takes patience and practice to develop this skill, but it’s a valuable one.

Make an effort to be interesting and the investment will pay off over time.

How to overcome fear and take action

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Fear is an illusion that stops us from pursuing our dreams.

The only way to overcome fear is to take action. Action creates momentum, confidence, and results.

Here are some tips to take action despite fear:

  • Start small. Focus on the next step, not the final outcome.
  • Use positive affirmations. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
  • Seek support. Surround yourself with positive people.
  • Celebrate your progress. Reward yourself for every step.

Remember that fear is normal and natural. It’s a sign that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone, growing as a person.

Don’t let fear stop your progress.

Act today. Watch your dreams come true.

Move the ball

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Each day, we all show up for work. The job is the constant, whether we like it or not.

Move the ball forwards. Even a small amount, just move the ball.

There are two balls here – mine and the one belonging to my employer. Whoever pays my cheques.

Each one needs that daily movement.

This is how you stay employed and employable. Both balls moving means you are learning. You are doing your job and devloping your skills.

Move each ball. Apply effort and time to it. It doesn’t fail as a long term strategy.

Break out of the pack

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Here are six ways you can increase your personal impact, no matter what you do.

They’re taken from a 2014 Tom Peters slide deck I printed and bound because it was so useful. I pick it up and walk through it periodically. Even time I open the pages, the words pop off the page. They never get old.

  • Outwork ’em
  • Outread ’em
  • Outlast ’em
  • Show up
  • Listen
  • Keep an open mind

I’ll also add another one – master politics. If you can understand how politics works and the role it plays in all aspects of our lives, you’ll have an advantage over the majority of people you work and play with.

Which one are you going to start working on first?

Tackle your problems head-on

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It takes guts to stand up to bad people. The same applies to problems of any kind.

The insecurity we feel when we realise what’s going on, the nerves about what will happen, begin to build. We go through every “what if…?” scenario at 100 mph.

Some people in this spot decide to hide away, playing in the shadows. It gives them a chance to cover their tracks, hoping this is enough to kill the scent.

But it never is.

You’ve gotta own up and face the problem head on. Your weaknesses are obvious to all at this point. Vulnerability here is the path to strength.

Be humble. Admit you’ve made a mistake if that’s the case. Admit you don’t know what to do. Ask for help and listen when the feedback arrives, no matter how tough that might be under the circumstances.

Get the job done. Then go find another one. Use the improvements from this episode to reach new levels.

Onwards, always to better things, with a chunk of learning about yourself in your pocket.

Be ready for the call: get the skills you need to go places

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When the call to the big leagues arrives, you want to be at your best. Your skills in whatever you do for a living will get you to the top eventually. They can, however, also work against you if you’ve not got them primed and ready at all times.

Do you want to be more efficient than your colleagues? Are you struggling to stand out in your team and get ahead? By learning skills we all use every day to a proficiency level beyond the basic, it won’t be hard.

If you open Excel every three months, you’ll be rusty at best for the first few minutes. If you need a pivot table or some conditional formatting, you’ll be browsing YouTube for tips. The clock will be ticking. Stress will build.

Instead, do a bit of research. What are the top ten things you do everyday that you can improve at? Do you open PowerPoint occasionally but often need a deck in a hurry? Is simple business writing a big part of your job, proof reading and rewriting reports, or sending emails about emails?

Think about what you can work on that will increase your output speed or improve your overall skill level. (Business writing excellence, by the way, is a lost art, so if you make this your goal, you’ll be in high demand.)

We build muscles by training. The same rules apply here, too. Make a plan to practice often by using mini-projects (writing blog posts, maybe?) and having the apps you need open, or the tools close to hand, all the time. Sharpen that sword with regular effort. The benefits will compound over time.

When a project kicks off and the call goes out for a skillset that the team is lacking or doesn’t have in depth, you’ll be ready. Put your hand up and you’ll get the chance to shine. Your contribution will stand out. You’ll deliver at speed with little stress because you’re in control.

And next time the need arises, who’s name will be top of the list? You’ll be remembered for volunteering, for doing an excellent job, and for being efficient – a most-wanted skill when the pressure is on.

Take a few courses. Watch a few YouTube videos. The notes you make and that handful of shortcuts and practice presentations hiding on your hard drive could get you more than you bargained for.

Negativity spreads quickly and will take us all down

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I was chatting to someone at the office the other day. We got deep quickly on the topic of a mutual coworker – someone with a few issues in their life.

They are bleeding all over the rest of us with their sighs and “it’s all too hard…” comments about the job, leading to some poor performance. The slack created has to be picked up, of course, so no-one’s happy about it.

The chat goes downhill fast. It becomes a pile-on. Within minutes, we’ve gone way beyond anything uplifting or light and down into the murky waters.

By the end of it, we’re all stirred up. Our own productivity levels drop through the floor. The blame for this is clear, too – definitely nothing to do with us… we’re perfect!

But we are to blame.

The chat is gossip that takes us downhill faster than a black run. The decision to avoid the idle banter and stay focussed on the job sets those who get stuff done apart.

Step away. Do something else. Don’t take the bait. Stay in a positive frame of mind rather than taking the easy path and teeing off on someone who could be in real trouble.

It never ends well for those who love this kind of behaviour. The gossip kings and queens are not the ones to hang out with. Build a relationship with them, as with everyone at work, but don’t join them when the sourness takes over.

Rise above it. Be the one who leads the team in the right direction.

Don’t add fuel to the fire. Let it burn out.